Introspecting oneself is very very important. Knowing myself is more important than knowing somebody else. Introspecting oneself without any biased feeling is very difficult.'I' has a big ego, and that 'I'can not accept that one has any weakness, or has any fault lying within.

I was reading Milan Kundera's book, ''the joke'', where he writes.......people are slaves to rules.Someone tells them to be this or that, and they try hard that to the daythey diethey hve no idea who they were and who they are.They are nobody and they are nothing. First and foremost a man must have the courage to be himself.....''how true this is. The moment we become concious of our own self we start covering ourselves with different types of 'layers'. The layers of vanity....

When I try to find my own true self I find I am not that real person which I am inside.If this is the thing then what am I? People who know me they say that I am a very carefree type, all the time laughing, cracking jokes, talkaing freely and bindaas type....but when I sit alone and look inside I find a bruised, wounded and sad person who is depressed and feel dejected .........am I wearing a mask ? yes...most probably , My mask is so bright that people who talk to me get influenced by that brightness....but I feel myself an alien....alien to myself...a hurt and wounded. so may unpleasant memories are lying, I thought that all those unpleasant moments have been vanished...but no....they are there. when I am all alone, they come up on the surface and haunt me. abused, rejected, hated,disliked....not once, but many times....I get scared...cant face that 'inside''person. I get so scared that I wear that bright mask again and start humming...acting like a 'bindaas'...all those insecurities...hurts, wounds etc hide in some corner, as if giving way to these brightness, (just like a poor helpless beggar shifts aside to make way for a wealthy person),

which one is real me?